A Clean Getaway
by QuietDragon
Summary: With some quick-thinking and an uncharacteristic stretch of miraculously good luck, the Rocket trio successfully robs a bank! But (and there is always a but), will a certain someone's pure heart turn out to be more of a virtue or a vice? One-shot, genfic.
1. Japanese names

((I was a butt and wrote it with Japanese names, _but_ if you click for the next chapter, it's the same story but with English names.  
*It's DP-era because I figure this kind of story would work best when they're still destitute.))

" _Nyasu!_ "

"I'm onyon it-nya! _Fury Swipes!_ "

"A-a- _ah_ , **DEAD END!** Kojiro, Nyasu, turn back, idiots!"

" _Who's_ an idiot-nya?! Musashi, you're leading the way!"

"Doesn't matter who, we're busting out!"

In the commotion, while Nyasu and Musashi were _quite literally_ at each other's throats for reasons of pride, Kojiro had already located an alternate route over the wall, having heeded the warning (only _partly_ to avoid confrontation– the main reason was duty, duty!)– now, with Junsa [Jenny] and her policemen closing in on the only _standard_ way out, he threw out a smokebomb and resisted the urge to gloat like he used to– or cry, because they reminded him of Metadogas [Weezing] too much.

(No time for sentimentality! _Be brave, Kojiro!_ )

While the officers were shouting in the smokey screen after the sudden blast, Kojiro hauled both his team mates in either arm as he got onto Muskippa [Carnivine]'s back, and honestly, one would _think_ a giant, flying, flytrap of a Pokemon shrieking like a banshee would be hard to miss, but fortune was on their side for once: it was the dead of night, the smoke provided ample cover bouncing off the walls of the alley, and the officer's Flying Type Pokemon arrived a few seconds too late, clearing the smoke after they had already gotten behind the wall and–

Well.

That would've been it, or maybe they would have split up a third time, or with their usual luck, would have encountered more officers waiting on the other side just in case they made it, but.

The coast was clear and they had a _great hiding place too._

The tunnel they dug before, this was one of the holes they made! They fell right in! He dragged the bag in after recovering from the fall… which was something Musashi and Nyasu were shooting Muskippa dirty looks for, but the Pokemon was happily gnawing on Kojiro's head while he cradled it protectively like an overgrown, teething baby; shooting them all warning looks to try and quell the inevitable squabbling and accusations of malicious intent on the goofy, clinging Grass Type, but they all seemed to arrive at a silent agreement to throw a cover over the hole when they heard approaching footsteps!

Perfectly concealed! But, would their stroke of unusually good luck last?

They waited, holding their breath, for the officers and Pokemon to leave. They suggested looking elsewhere, but a Guardie [Growlithe] drew very near, sniffing loudly, sneezing a bit at the foul garbage _right_ next to the hole, and all three Rockets felt their throats tighten (but not Muskippa, who was still calmly ruining Kojiro's hair, but fortunately, without shrieking or hissing)–

The Guardie bounded away, barking, when it was called to inspect another area.

They all breathed a sigh of relief, Kojiro now deciding it was an alright time to produce Muskippa's ball to return it– a crack and a flash of white, not red, energy burst from Musashi's side!

"Sss–"

All three leapt to force the Pokemon's mouth shut. Muskippa continued splitting ends.

… nothing. They weren't found out and even _Sounansu, easily_ the worst Pokemon to ever fail at reading the mood _,_ seemed to go quiet.

No one came for them! Throwing off the cover, they all took a gasp of fresh air– Musashi elbowed Kojiro sharply for his Pokemon dropping her unceremoniously into a hole next to **garbage–** before she and Nyasu clapped congratulatory hands on his back.

"You really did it now, Kojiro!" Musashi said, cheerfully. "It's a good thing I dug this hole!"

" ** _Nyaaa,_** what was that?! It was Nyasu's idea! Nyasu wanted to dig this hole!"

Kojiro honestly didn't remember who dug the hole or when, but after all he had done, even he could tell he needed some credit here, and he was about to speak up, looking quite put-out, but Musashi had already gotten to it:

"What? _That's ridiculous,_ since when do _you_ decide where our holes go, _you_ made the mecha and Kojiro shoplifted the garbage bags and oil we needed," Musashi said, shooting Nyasu a look, before smiling at Kojiro.

"Never mind all that, today, we're _winners,_ Kojiro, let's see our spoils!"

"Nyasu doesn't care if nyobody else gives him credit-nya, a victory for the Roketto-dan is a victory for the Roketto-dan, and for Sakaki-sama!"

" _ **SOUUUNANSU!**_ "

They were all in such a good mood as they finally clamboured out of the hole, that Nyasu's barb was completely ignored!

They pulled the bag open, eyes alight with anticipation, and–

Were treated to actual, genuine trash.

"… Kojiro," Musashi began in a flat, unaffected voice. "What is this."

"Trash-…nya…" Nyasu answered, equally in shock.

"… why did we rob a **BANK WITH GARBAGE BAGS?!** " Musashi finally snapped. "Kojiro?!"

He snapped to attention. "It was Nyasu's mecha, the machinery was too expensive, we had no funds left over–"

"Oi, oi. Nyasu's part of the planyan worked _perfectly! Nyasu doesnyan't wanyant to hear–_ " both clamped their hands over the cat's mouth, collectively deciding they didn't want to hear from _him_.

"Why were you **PAYING** for them?! In case you missed the memo: we were going to **ROB A BANK,** we're **CRIMINALS.** "

"I'll have you know, the shopkeeper was a _very nice_ old lady–"

" _That nice old lady's handouts aren't worth all of the money we stole, Kojiro!_ We could be _filthy rich_ right now, if you hadn't confused–"

Defensively folding his arms and puffing up his chest, Kojiro returned hotly: "Banks like that are _very presentable_ and have a _homely atmosphere_ with _tiny, little dustbins,_ they don't use industrial garbage bags! there's NO way it could've been trash, it had to be the money– **Musashi, Nyasu** , you filled it in yourselves, didn't you?! We used several bags to make it thick enough to carry all those coins and–"

A Windie [Arcanine] leapt from the other side of the wall, carrying a matching (multiple-layer) garbage bag, landing softly on the ground. A few, sparkling coins scattered, but it swiftly collected them, back into the bag, right before the Rockets' tearful eyes.

It leapt away, with the riches that were very nearly theirs secured in its mouth.

"I can't believe we were only separated from our life of luxury by one _dumb wall!_ " Musashi's anger had now given way to grief' she beat the ground rather uselessly with her fists in frustration, before sinking into a depressed heap.

" _Souuu-_ nansu!" Sounansu concurred, as if confirming that there was **always** one dumb wall in their way.

"I wasn't asking for anymore examples," Musashi said bitterly, but Sounansu didn't seem to mind and sat down next to her, receiving a glum, one-armed hug.

"Why did you drop the bag there-nya?! We were so close-nya!" Nyasu asked, equally desperately, if not as dramatically.

"… I couldn't carry it _and_ pick both of you up at the same time, could I?" Kojiro said, shrugging helplessly, as he finally recalled where things went wrong.

 ** _"_** ** _WE'VE HAD ENOUGH!"_**

Despite loudly rejecting his soft-heartedness in union, Musashi and Nyasu were satisfied with (and not-so-secretly touched by) that perfectly Kojiro-like reasoning, content enough to drop the subject entirely, as they staked out to find a bite to eat and a slightly cleaner place to sleep.


	2. English dub names

((I was a butt and wrote it with Japanese names, _but_ if you click for the next chapter, it's the same story but with English names.  
*It's DP-era because I figure this kind of story would work best when they're still destitute.))

" _Meowth!_ "

"I'm on it! _Fury Swipes!_ "

"A-a- _ah_ , **DEAD END!** James, Meowth, turn back, idiots!"

"Who're you callin' an idiot?! Jessie, yer da one leadin' the way!"

"Doesn't matter who, we're busting out!"

In the commotion, while Meowth and Jessie were _quite literally_ at each other's throats for reasons of pride, James had already located an alternate route over the wall, having heeded the warning (only _partly_ to avoid confrontation– the main reason was duty, duty!)– now, with Officer Jenny and her policemen closing in on the only _standard_ way out, he threw out a smokebomb and resisted the urge to gloat like he used to– or cry, because they reminded him of Weezing too much.

(No time for sentimentality! _Be brave, James!_ )

While the officers were shouting in the smokey screen after the sudden blast, James hauled both his team mates in either arm as he got onto Carnivine's back, and honestly, one would _think_ a giant, flying, flytrap of a Pokemon shrieking like a banshee would be hard to miss, but fortune was on their side for once: it was the dead of night, the smoke provided ample cover bouncing off the walls of the alley, and the officer's Flying Type Pokemon arrived a few seconds too late, clearing the smoke after they had already gotten behind the wall and–

Well.

That would've been it, or maybe they would have split up a third time, or with their usual luck, would have encountered more officers waiting on the other side just in case they made it, but.

The coast was clear and they had a _great hiding place too._

The tunnel they dug before, this was one of the holes they made! They fell right in! He dragged the bag in after recovering from the fall… which was something Jessie and Meowth were shooting Carnivine dirty looks for, but the Pokemon was happily gnawing on James's head while he cradled it protectively like an overgrown, teething baby; shooting them all warning looks to try and quell the inevitable squabbling and accusations of malicious intent on the goofy, clinging Grass Type, but they all seemed to arrive at a silent agreement to throw a cover over the hole when they heard approaching footsteps!

Perfectly concealed! But, would their stroke of unusually good luck last?

They waited, holding their breath, for the officers and Pokemon to leave. They suggested looking elsewhere, but a Growlithe drew very near, sniffing loudly, sneezing a bit at the foul garbage _right_ next to the hole, and all three Rockets felt their throats tighten (but not Carnivine, who was still calmly ruining James's hair, but fortunately, without shrieking or hissing)–

The Growlithe bounded away, barking, when it was called to inspect another area.

They all breathed a sigh of relief, James now deciding it was an alright time to produce Carnivine's ball to return it– a crack and a flash of white, not red, energy burst from Jessie's side!

"WO–"

All three leapt to force the Pokemon's mouth shut. Carnivine continued splitting ends.

… nothing. They weren't found out and even _Wobbuffet, easily_ the worst Pokemon to ever fail at reading the mood _,_ seemed to go quiet.

No one came for them! Throwing off the cover, they all took a gasp of fresh air– Jessie elbowed James sharply for his Pokemon dropping her unceremoniously into a hole next to **garbage–** before she and Meowth clapped congratulatory hands on his back.

"You really did it now, James!" Jessie said, cheerfully. "It's a good thing I dug this hole!"

" **AAAAAAAH** ** _,_** what was dat?! It was Meowth's idea! _I_ was da one who wanted to dig dis hole!"

James honestly didn't remember who dug the hole or when, but after all he had done, even he could tell he needed some credit here, and he was about to speak up, looking quite put-out, but Jessie had already gotten to it:

"What? _That's ridiculous,_ since when do _you_ decide where our holes go, _you_ made the mecha and James shoplifted the garbage bags and oil we needed," Jessie said, shooting Meowth a look, before smiling at James.

"Never mind all that, today, we're _winners,_ James, let's see our spoils!"

"Well, _this_ Meowth don't care if nobody else gives him credit, 'cause a victory for Team Rocket is a victory for _Team Rocket_ , and for da boss!"

" _ **SOUUUNANSU!**_ "

They were all in such a good mood as they finally clamboured out of the hole, that Meowth's barb was completely ignored!

They pulled the bag open, eyes alight with anticipation, and–

Were treated to actual, genuine trash.

"… James," Jessie began in a flat, unaffected voice. "What is this."

"T- _trash_ …" Meowth answered, equally in shock.

"… why did we rob a **BANK WITH GARBAGE BAGS?!** " Jessie finally snapped. "James?!"

He snapped to attention. "It was Meowth's mecha, the machinery was too expensive, we had no funds left over–"

"Hey, hey, _my part of the plan_ worked _perfectly! I don't wanna hear nothin'–_ " both clamped their hands over the cat's mouth, collectively deciding they didn't want to hear from _him_.

"Why were you **PAYING** for them?! In case you missed the memo: we were going to **ROB A BANK,** we're **CRIMINALS.** "

"I'll have you know, the shopkeeper was a _very nice_ old lady–"

" _That nice old lady's handouts aren't worth all of the money we stole, James!_ We could be _filthy rich_ right now, if you hadn't confused–"

Defensively folding his arms and puffing up his chest, James returned hotly: "Banks like that are _very presentable_ and have a _homely atmosphere_ with _tiny, little dustbins,_ they don't use industrial garbage bags! there's NO way it could've been trash, it had to be the money– **Jessie, Meowth** , you filled it in yourselves, didn't you?! We used several bags to make it thick enough to carry all those coins and–"

An Arcanine leapt from the other side of the wall, carrying a matching (multiple-layer) garbage bag, landing softly on the ground. A few, sparkling coins scattered, but it swiftly collected them, back into the bag, right before the Rockets' tearful eyes.

It leapt away, with the riches that were very nearly theirs secured in its mouth.

"I can't believe we were only separated from our life of luxury by one _dumb wall!_ " Jessie's anger had now given way to grief' she beat the ground rather uselessly with her fists in frustration, before sinking into a depressed heap.

"Wooooob-buffet!" Wobbuffet concurred, as if confirming that there was **always** one dumb wall in their way.

"I wasn't asking for anymore examples," Jessie said bitterly, but Wobbuffet didn't seem to mind and sat down next to her, receiving a glum, one-armed hug.

"Why did ya drop the bag dere?! We were so CLOSE!" Meowth asked, equally desperately, if not as dramatically.

"… I couldn't carry it _and_ pick both of you up at the same time, could I?" James said, shrugging helplessly, as he finally recalled where things went wrong.

 ** _"WE'VE HAD ENOUGH!"_**

Despite loudly rejecting his soft-heartedness in union, Jessie and Meowth were satisfied with (and not-so-secretly touched by) that perfectly James-like reasoning, content enough to drop the subject entirely, as they staked out to find a bite to eat and a slightly cleaner place to sleep.


End file.
